Is that unlucky? Numbers are weird. Here’s the play. Hopefully this arcane academy I’m developing won’t make people think I’m trying to rip of Harry Potter. Hahaha! #plagiarism
(Zelda is working in the school’s resplendent garden. She is wearing ordinary townsfolk clothes. Ferdinand, with a gardener’s apron over his shoulder, approaches her.)
FERDINAND: Zelda! You are almost finished!
ZELDA: Yep. What do you think?
FERDINAND: Wonderful. I am ecstatic not to have to do that myself.
ZELDA: You know? It’s not so bad once you get into it! I actually found it cleared my head. It’s nice when you’re so swamped in books.
FERDINAND: Yes. It is.
ZELDA: I couldn’t help but notice we don’t have any Fireweed.
FERDINAND: Fireweed doesn’t grow in this climate.
ZELDA: Oh! Right.
FERDINAND: Why were you looking for Fireweed?
ZELDA: I just, it’s so beautiful, I wanted to decorate my desk, you know?
FERDINAND: Zelda. I don’t know you very well. But I know of you. Are you being exceptionally gracious toward me in hopes of acquiring some Fireweed?
ZELDA: What? No!
FERDINAND: Why do you want the Fireweed?
ZELDA: It’s pretty! Do I need a better reason?
FERDINAND: Please, Zelda. Don’t disappoint me.
(They have a stare-down.)
ZELDA: … Sorry.
FERDINAND: Apology accepted. Will you answer my question?
ZELDA: I want it for a love spell.
ZELDA: You knew?
FERDINAND: Fireweed is very rare and its flowers are used in two spells. I didn’t think you would go to such lengths for a tinting spell.
ZELDA: Heh. Yeah. No.
FERDINAND: Surely you must know magic is not the way to someone’s heart.
ZELDA: It’s not. I’m not really after someone. It’s … a guy from class, Leopold, he found out something about me, a secret, and …
FERDINAND: Your parentage?
ZELDA: I guess everyone knows now. So, yeah, I want to get back at him.
FERDINAND: I see. I’m impressed.
ZELDA: You are?
FERDINAND: A love spell is an excellent revenge tool.
ZELDA: It is?
FERDINAND: I will give you the Fireweed. In one week.
ZELDA: What? Why?
FERDINAND: Do you want it?
ZELDA: Yeah, but I was hoping …
FERDINAND: See you next week! Thanks for doing the weeds!
(He exits. Blackout. Lights up on Ferdinand lounging in his office reading a book. Zelda knocks.)
FERDINAND: Come in!
ZELDA: Hi, Sir.
FERDINAND: Please, Ferdinand will do.
ZELDA: O-oh. Okay.
FERDINAND: I have your Fireweed right here.
ZELDA: Thank you. But actually, I don’t want it.
ZELDA: I did a lot of thinking over the last week. I kind of visualised every way the love spell could turn out, and it all kind of sucked. In all my fantasies, I just ended up … meh. Except for in one part. See, my plan was to cast the spell on Leopold’s girlfriend. He would walk in on us making out at some point and just be so disgusted. Hahahaha! But then, she would be mad at me. She would hate me. That’s what makes me most afraid. I realised I care about her way more than blasted Leopold. So I’m still going to steal his girlfriend, but I’m doing it for me. Not because of him!
FERDINAND: That’s the spirit!
ZELDA: Thank you. You knew this would happen. Didn’t you?
FERDINAND: Something like it. Here.
ZELDA: Oh, wow! It’s amazing!
FERDINAND: Perhaps you need not burn it for your spell. Flowers are often well-received by ladies, I’m told.
ZELDA: Thank you, Ferdinand. Maybe I’ll come by this week to work in the garden again.
FERDINAND: I will be happy to see you.
(Zelda leaves the office and Ferdinand returns to his book with a smile.)