A Very Tiny Play #2

This is just day 2 but it’s pretty fun. This one’s a little Rhinoceros-y. #chaos #halogensgiveyoubraincancer

(In the home of Leopold & Henry)


HENRY: What?


HENRY: “New study correlates halogen light bulbs to brain cancer.”

LEOPOLD: Told you.

HENRY: This is old news, Leo. Haven’t you seen the riots?


HENRY: Siri, show me footage of the riots in Montreal.

LEOPOLD: … oh, shit.

HENRY: Yeah, intense, eh? And the article is clearly bullshit!


HENRY: It says a statistic suggests a high correlation. AKA Bullshit.

LEOPOLD: I know….

HENRY: What?

LEOPOLD: I faked the statistic.

HENRY: It was your statistic?!

LEOPOLD: I was handed them the day after we had our argument! I was like, clearly it’s fated! so I messed with the numbers a bit, and showed it to my newspaper friend.

HENRY: You single-handedly caused these riots.

LEOPOLD: I-I-I can fix it! I’ll call them right now, tell them there was a glitch in the system and the stats were messed up. I might not even lose my job!

HENRY: Good luck.

LEOPOLD: The lines are dead. Why are the lines dead?

HENRY: Oh, fuck. Things got turned up a notch. Look.

LEOPOLD: Explosions downtown? For light bulbs?!

HENRY: You better get to a radio station or something.


HENRY: What?

LEOPOLD: No, I must do nothing.

HENRY: What are you talking about?

LEOPOLD: It’s mayhem. I can only let it burn. Maybe – maybe it’s like a forest fire. It’s good for … everything. Eventually.

HENRY: Leo, I’m going to need you to stop talking like an insane person or I’m leaving you.

LEOPOLD: No, Henry. It was meant to be! Can’t you see? Our debate, me getting those exact stats the next day, the over-reaction? Do you really believe in coincidence?

HENRY: I don’t know you any more.

LEOPOLD: Indeed. Leopold is gone. I’m an agent of chaos now.

HENRY: Welp. Bye!

LEOPOLD: Good luck….


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