So this might end up being more of a rant directed at myself. But I’m sure you’ll be able to relate.
It’s 9:30, and my self-imposed schedule says I should be in bed in half an hour. But I also owe myself an Artist’s Date. If you read last week’s post you’ll know I’m doing The Artist’s Way, a 12-week program to promote one’s creativity. Part of that involves weekly dates for your inner artist child. It has been doing really well on that front up until this week. For a reason I can pin point pretty well (ie Dark Souls is way too good), my creativity has been giving way to playing video games. Case in point, I was meant to spend this night nourishing my inner artist, a self-conscious little girl who has been really on edge lately. Or maybe it’s the rest of me that’s on edge and I’m taking it out on my artist child. But I just spent the last 2 hours playing games. I already spent like 3 or 4 hours playing games today. Why did I need more? Is Dark Souls just THAT good? Can that be considered my artist’s date? I should decide what constitutes an artist’s date. Right? That’s the whole point.
Just yesterday I did a Task for the Artist’s Way which asked me to list 10 ways in which I am mean to myself. The first two I wrote are:
-Reprimanding myself for relaxing
-Reprimanding myself for eating
“Good lord!” you might say. “What an idiot! People need food and relaxation, it’s part of survival! Pretty basic shit Travis get it together.” Right? And yet, here I am, eating dates, and celery and challah with hummus, reprimanding myself for doing these things. In case you’re worried, I know I’m being an idiot, and I’ve cracked open a beer at this point in order to reinforce that what I’m doing is okay and I should not be ashamed for doing what I want to do when I should be relaxing, god damn it.
So… is there a point to all this? Sure, I’ll make one. One thing I want to point out is: we are the time we waste. Partly. We are also the work we do and who we spend time with. We are what we do. But wasting time is an important part of what we do, if you ask me, so we want to do it WELL. Playing Dark Souls*, if you ask any gamer worth her salt, is a fantastic way to waste time. As a game designer, I’m learning all sorts of things that only Dark Souls can teach me, so really, it’s not a WASTE of time. But I also spent a fair chunk of time playing Smash Bros† online. I have already spent countless hours playing Smash Bros and stand to learn little from it. Time more objectively wasted, then. If Dark Souls is just as restful for me as Smash Bros, why not excise Smash Bros from my activity calendar? It’s true I get bored of Dark Souls once in a while, but I have tens of other games I could play instead. Or I could go for a bike ride. Like I had planned to for my artist’s date.
You know, I think I might just do that. My legs are itching and I’m full of sugar from all those dates.
Thanks for reading. Waste your time well.
*Dark Souls in a nutshell: One of the hardest games ever, according to gamers everywhere. You are an undead adventurer in a hostile world of zombies, skeletons, demons, and dragons. Everything fucking kills you. Over and over and over. It’s awesome.
†Smash Bros in a nutshell: Nintendo’s best battle it out in a 2D platformer fighting game. Online, 5 minute matches can be played in rapid succession, grinding time away to nothing.