The Promises We Make

For a long time I have been in the habit of making promises I don’t end up keeping. Sometimes I just don’t get to it. Or I might just not feel like it when it gets down to it. It gets put off, and I forget about it for a while, and then it’s too late, or it seems like it is, and I just say, “Well they haven’t said anything about it so I guess it’s not a big deal.”

It happened more and more until it became normal for me not to follow through on stuff I say I’m going to do. It didn’t matter who the promise was for – friends, family, even myself – I just wouldn’t keep it. I was unreliable.

That’s not to say I never kept a promise. Or that I broke them out of spite, on purpose. I always intended to keep them. But the bottom line is I was unreliable – and at the same time, I felt and acted like a reliable person. I considered myself reliable, even though deep down I knew I wasn’t. I was deluding myself.

So I lived for many years, mystifying myself and others about my true nature. And it’s not just about keeping promises. I had constructed a self-image which was not natural, not truly me. After many years of quiet torture, I began to emerge from the dungeon I kept myself in. That is what this blog is about.

It’s a blog about self-discovery. It’s a blog about surviving in the modern world as a freelance artist. It’s about going against the grain, breaking norms, and getting angry about things that suck and should change. I’ll discuss spirituality, ideas and ways of life I believe are worth spreading, and observations I make in my experiences.

I have started many blogs in my life (I don’t know, like 6 or 7). This one is for good. What is it, Thursday night? Every Thursday night I will post something – you’re reading it, you can check it out – because I am impeccable with my word.

I will explain the name and cover image now. “The True Life Story of a Pioneer” by Fred McIntyre is a book I received from my great-aunt Thelma a couple of years ago. I read about 2/5 of it and let it sit on my shelf since then (like so many others with it). I told her in an email I would finish it soon and mail it back. She said she had someone else to lend it to. It’s the first promise I am going to work on that I never fulfilled, starting right after I press Publish on this post. Because she’s the oldest living relative I have, I want to honour Thelma, even if it’s a little late.

I hope you’ll join me on this expedition. And if you don’t, may you find love and happiness on your own journey.

Peace out.
-T

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4 thoughts on “The Promises We Make

  1. We make a lot of promises, that’s for sure- one of the great cans of worms of all time. The tension between who you think you are and who you really are, (or is that knowable in any absolute sense- maybe that’s why we invented God). A worthy topic for sure. 🙂

    Like

  2. You have embarked on a worthy journey, but being fallible is part of being human. Yes, keep your promises, but not all promises were created equal. Xoxo

    Like

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